Chinese New Year

Thus are the first three days of the Chinese New Year ended, and with them gone the harsh reality of school life beckons again. But before we return to that, I will reflect on the days gone by.

CNY has always been, for as long as I can remember, a time of awkwardness while visiting relatives, especially on my father's side. I've always been closer to my cousins on my mother's side. Somehow, the inverse seems true this year. It's odd when I consider the previous situation, because I spent a great deal of my childhood in my paternal grandmother's house. I should be closer to my cousins there, but I wasn't. I put it down to the language barrier, and perhaps also religious differences. I can recall a time when I was close to them, but then as I grew older I drifted away. My inability to speak Chinese, whereas they were fluent in both that and Hokkien, influenced my relationship with my cousins greatly. CNY became a time of polite gestures and greetings, but not much talk.

Now we are older. My two oldest cousins have stable girlfriends. One is due to marry by the year's end. My oldest female cousin just got a makeover. For the first time in my life I saw her with makeup. Another sign of changing times. Somehow this year over steamboat and other things I managed to reconnect with my cousins. We talked and laughed and joked. They are quite a fun bunch actually. The male lineage has always been strong in the Lian clan. My late grandmother gave birth to six sons, not a single daughter. Today most of her grandchildren are male. I suppose that helps in forging bonds. Our age gaps aren't that wide either.

The situation on my mother's side is different this year. It started a few years ago. Somehow I drifted away from my younger cousins, with whom I was once very chummy. Age difference probably. Then my older cousin entered the army, and his course in life is very different from mine. Suddenly CNY there has become another round of polite gestures and greetings.

That being said, this CNY has been fairly enjoyable so far. It's always been a time of mirth and merrymaking, and I've lost myself in food over the past few days. It was good, while it lasted.

Now school will begin anew. I pray for strength and perserverance. Things are really getting on my nerves. Day by day, I pray for patience and Christ-centredness.

I CANNOT STAND THIS!!!!! My computer is infested with spyware that mcafee can't do nuts about, and its corrupted about two of the system files. I'm going to wage war on this malignant and repulsive threat to home computer security. I shall reformat my computer. Soon. When i have sufficient time. I'll back up the files tonight.

I'm sorry if I can't reply to your tags, cos though you can see the tagboard, I can't, or at least, only partially. I can see the tags, but I myself can't tag. I can't even see some other people's tagboards.

I'm high strung, stressed out by school work and CCA commitments, and now I have to come home and deal with this nonsense. It's a complete waste of my time. But at least it's not as bad as the last time I reformatted my com. Ah well.

Tomorrow is cross country day. Strange as it sounds coming from me, I somehow suddenly look forward to it. Maybe it will be a good chance to destress. Oh it's intolerable. My peace is always marred. It's like I spend a few moments enjoying something, only to remember I have some work or commitment somewhere to attend to.

I enjoyed today's GP lesson. It gave me much food for thought. Are we all products then?

You know, debating is getting tiring, and it's a strain on my time. I love it, but ahh, sometimes, it just gets on my nerves...

I shall spend tomorrow singing in the trees

My tagbox has disappeared! Why am I so unfortunate with technology? It makes no sense, because I haven't edited my template. Maybe it's a temporary glitch. I'll wait and see. In the meantime, feel free to comment on the comments page.

It's been a whole week since I blogged. Quite an eventful week, full of stress and excitement. Excitement = stress?

Anyway, just to update, I got the Lit S paper. So, more work for me. I don't know how I'm going to finish four Shakespearean texts in a term and a half, but I'll do it with God's grace. I mean, if He allowed me to get the S paper, I'm going to trust He can see me safely through this year, intact.

We reviewed the new J1s this week for debating. I'm going to give a cautious nod of approval at some of their potential, but because I haven't seen most of them I can't say anything much beyond that. They have shown skills we didn't expect, considering how most, or all, of them have practically no debating experience.

I attended the Annual Conference of Feedback Groups yesterday. It was quite an eye opener for me, because I never realised there were so many angry people in Singapore. One after another they swamped the dialogue session with angry questions and complaints, pressurising the poor committees, who repeatedly stressed that they were just volunteers. And then when the Health Minister arrived, they questioned him all the same. Really interesting day. The food was good though! I liked the prawns.

We bumped into Sheryl and Andrew after the conference, or rather Sheryl saw us then appeared before me. What a pleasant surprise. The last time I saw Andrew was during orientation. He has this lovely stubble that I wish I could have. Some people have the ability to carry off stubble well, for example, as much as I hate to say it, Bryan. I can't. My hair just come out of my chin in a mish mash of directions, and it's too sparse. I think it has something to do with the scar on my chin. When I was much younger I banged my chin real hard on the sales counter of the Cold Storage supermarket in Ngee Ann City. It was a rather bloody experience. I was rushed off to Mount Elizabeth Hospital where I vividly recalled being operated on while conscious. The doctor applied anaesthetic to my chine and sewed it up, at the same time managing to make friendly conversation with me. I think my mother was pale with worry.

So anyway, because of that, I now have a scar on my chin, and I think it's obstructing the full growth of my stubble.

Ha, it was nice seeing Andrew and Sheryl walk off. They look quite good together, like a pleasant picture of marital bliss. Oops, forgive me, I meant, um, relational bliss. And then later, when Beni pointed out Secret Recipe and said what memories that place held, it felt like I had come slightly full circle, if there is such a phrase. Oh well, oh well.

Lots of homework to do.

Sensitivity

Last night I gave my brother a lecture. Not a scolding, but a lecture, the sort of thing our teachers do. It just came impromptu.

In my family, I observe many things. They may not know it, but I spend a lot of the time observing the happy moments, the conflicts, gestures, tone, language, etc. Sometimes things slip my mind, but when something crops up, as they often do time and time again, I always try and observe.

From this, I've learnt something of human relations. Relationships are a finely balanced set of equations. They can be upset very easily by the slightest variation. Great care and sensitivity are often required when dealing with humans. Some are more sensitive than others. Some are more numb, or maybe they've just grown used to life. Some can put up a great show of strength when it's so obvious how fragile they are. Whatever it is, people are sensitive beings, and the heart is beats so, so tenderly. No one can hurt you more than the ones you love.

Those are some of the results of my observations of the people around me in general. Many times I've wanted to speak out, share my deeper thoughts, but it can be so difficult to tell those you love. Or maybe it's just me.

Me. A few days ago I began to wonder if I was not slightly neurotic. I don't know when this developed exactly, but I have some inkling of how it developed. A gradual process. Now I find it hard to relax, even in peaceful moments. And so many times, it takes so little to affect me. I don't know why because I don't recall ever being this... sensitive shall we say...when I was younger. Your slightest gesture, or tone, affects me. I read volumes into simple conversations, even online or sms. And sometimes, if I don't catch myself, I try reading into the most nonsensical things. I think it may be a bad habit developing. Sensitivity is fine, but when it becomes neurosis, it can take a toll on you.

I told my brother this, "Whenever you want to say something, or do something, always stop and think of how you would feel if the other person did what you are going to do to you." It's really commonsensical isn't it? Cliched even. Everyone knows that, we just forget it. More often than not, we need to be reminded more than instructed.

Setting an example can be so hard. In his best, or better moments, my brother can be so loveable. In his worst, or worser moments, which come very very often, I wish I had another brother. But I have to learn, I guess, to accept him, warts and all. And who am I to judge, when so many times I've failed in my duty as a brother, much less the older one? Setting an example can be so hard.

My opinion of Nelson improved after our training session at NUS today. And I quite like the look of policy debating. It sounds fun, but it looks like a lot of hard work too. Sigh, more research to be done.

When I was younger if I thought something was cute I said so. Today as I came home I thought to myself: Now if I think something is cute I find myself wondering, why exactly do I find it cute?

Lovely, the rain stopped today, although the sudden increase in temperature was slightly discomforting. I think I'd gotten used to the coldness.

The long awaited weekend is finally here. I finished my s paper selection test yesterday. It wasn't as intimidating as I thought it was, and I thank God it's over. At least that's one burden off my mind.

Oh, and I got into the gp differentiated program. I don't know what I'm getting myself into, but oh well, here goes nothing. It is something to be one of only 16 people to qualify for the program out of the whole cohort. And not a single Science student. Which is puzzling, because I know people in there who did well for gp, but whom their teachers didn't nominate.

Tomorrow I will be going for a briefing on the NUS Debates Challenge Shields. I've already met my new coach, but I don't think it would be particularly diplomatic to post my stronger opinions of him here. He's...very different from Adrienne. More...shall we say...slow paced? I have a feeling that I might find it slightly difficult to adjust to him. But we'll play it by the ear.

I begin to worry about Vicki's sanity. At first I thought she was just crazy in a playful manner, but recent developments have led me to question the true stability of her mind. No sane person runs into the classroom and bangs her hands on the wall and runs out again. She is, as Bryan so eloquently put it, "the epitome of siao". But, ah, what would our days be without her? Duller than a great thaw, to quote from Benedick.

As always, grist for the mill, grist for the mill.

I wish I could sleep and destress.

I have econs to do, an s paper selection test to study for, and MUN reports to write. And I wish I could sleep away the time. The weather isn't helping.

Some funny moments of the day to cheer me up. Vicks asking, pleading, then whimpering for tissue in the caf. "Tissue (ten seconds later), tissue..." Benita's realisation of the familial connection between the Lees. Mrs Ram's pun, "Whatever happened last year is history."

When the world is so grey, your heart tends to sag. Ok that made me laugh. What a silly word to use!

I have acquired the Memoirs of Harry. Right now the most popular and well known memoirs on the market are those of a geisha, but unfortunately I'm not reading those. I have decided to delve into the personal life of Harry. Harry, of all the names in the world, but Harry nevertheless. Harry and Geok Chu, such a delightful coupling of words. Much as I'd hate to say it, his memoirs are actually fairly interesting.

I feel like drifting off to sleep. So random.

My beginning, my forever.

Everyday

I'm back home, all nice and comfy in my room. I had a sudden bout of sneezing just now. This weather is perfect for snuggling up in bed and not waking up till tomorrow. In fact, to do that would not be too bad an idea.

Rain. Now I don't mind rain now and then, but when it rains everyday, and the whole day, then it gets really irritating. We're like just trudging through the wind and rain and mud everyday. A slow crawl. I wonder if this is some kind of visual metaphor for the year.

I like rationalisation. I think it helps a lot in sorting certain things out, provided I have enough time to think it through. And when I'm done, the issue seems less pressing, less troubling, for a while. Most of the time, I simply don't have time to think. And I react too quickly, or badly. Surrender is so difficult when you have so many things piling up against you. Or perhaps I should put it the other way. Is it not easier to let go when you finally realise you can't cope? We are rebels in arms.

It's the second week of school, and things are already so messy. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing, getting involved in MUN, and S Paper, and now this differentiated program. I really don't mind if I don't qualify for the S Paper, but what if I do? Will I have enough motivation, willpower, strength even, to see it through? And then there's debates. Such a headache. Having a title is nice, but really, sometimes I wish I didn't, that I didn't have to bother so much. And why do little things bother me so much?

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

The first two days of school.

I didn't get the chance to update yesterday so I'll blog now.

The first day of school was fairly easy going. Nothing much to do, just walking around, exploring the new campus, chit chatting. But, our first Moment of 2006 has arrived. It was History Tutorial, and Mr Yoong had just asked Samantha, "What were America's goals for going into Greece and Turkey?" To which Samantha declared, "World peace."

Priceless moment, truly priceless.

We've had a couple more silly random moments here and there, like when Benita said the mama shops in the area were very mama, or like today, when Vicks was trying to describe this snack to us known to her as Bee Bee (but which she pronounced as "bibi"). And fancy calling Mamee snack noodles "Mamee Mee"...

Random and crazy, that's my two days in school. Somehow I feel that the class has cooled down a lot, like we are more cordial to each other. Maybe things are getting better.

But the pressure is already heating up. I have a competition next month and we'll be training twice weekly. Then there's MUN coming up, as well as this GP accelerated program. If the accelerated program means extra work then I might not want to go for it, even if I get in. I personally prefer Ms Soh's class, if only for the lesser amount of work.

My computer is lagging, and I don't know why. I don't detect a virus attack or spyware, and I'd really hate it if it was spyware, cos then I might have to clean out the whole thing. The pitfalls of technology...

'Twas the night before school

So, it's once again the dawn of a new year, and with that comes the inevitable opening of the new school term. Standing here on the brink of another adventure, I pray I'll make it through all right, and hopefully better than before. Adventure does not necessarily mean a good thing. Lester asked me if I was excited about going back to school. Yes, I am, but excitement is just an anticipatory emotion. It can be either bad or good, and in this case, it means bad. Perhaps a better word to describe my feelings now would be apprehension, or nervous anticipation. It can't be a very good sign to open the school year with PE. But then again, I guess that's just a sign of things to come. Let's just say I'm not particularly looking forward to the end of this year.

I've begun to feel as though every moment is precious to me. I wish I could hold on to them, but time just slips past me, even as I wish it would stop. I want everything to stop, and allow me to enjoy my last few moments of peace, snatches of which I experienced today, and yesterday. This is like the deep breath before the plunge. And even as I plunge, I want every moment of it to last longer, move slower. It's like I'm clinging on to some board, slowly, or quickly, being sucked down into some unimaginable abyss.

I pray I can let go and trust God.

For I am convinced that nothing can separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.



Musa: I'm NOT a babe. And even with you around, it may not be tt much of a blast I'm afraid. More like an agonising crawl through the mud.

Vicks: Nope, you've got to do better to have an entire list devoted to you. There are plenty of other contenders.

Christmas is five days past, but yesterday I felt a little Christmas spirit return. Without doubt, Joyeux Noel, or Merry Christmas in English, is one of the best films I've watched this year. It's a lovely, touching show set in World War 1. A little odd, yes, for a Christmas movie, but it's based on a true story, of how on Christmas Eve in 1914, several stretches along the French-German Front were at peace because the opposing soldiers held unofficial ceasefires. The movie simplifies this by focusing on one location of the truce. Parts of the film seem a little exaggerated and frankly, cheesy, but its overall effect leaves one with a sense of sentimentality and hope. And hey, I'm a sucker for world war films that are shot in German or French.

When I was in SAV on Wednesday, I realised that I didn't want to go back to school after all. That may sound strange to many school-hating people out there, but initially I was actually looking forward slightly to school because the holidays were getting rather dull and long. Truth be told, this seems to me to have been the longest stretch of holidaying I've ever had. All the past year-end breaks in secondary or primary school seemed too short. This one seemed almost too long. Now, it's not long enough.

I guess it was looking around at all the people present, people whom I am going to face next year, that made me realise my reluctance. I don't want to meet everybody again. Even the people I don't personally know. Maybe the best way to describe how I feel would be: I don't want to be immersed in the lifestyle and culture of school again. It would be lovely if I could just study with the people I like and hang out with, and if the whole campus belonged to just the few of us. Strangely, this isolationist sentiment just reminded me of The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time. In fact, wouldn't it be great to walk down Orchard Road one day and find the streets deserted, and having the whole place to yourself? Ok, now I'm sounding morbid.

Work does not create satisfaction.

So I visited the new campus yesterday. I couldn't recognise my old secondary school anymore. It's gone. Gone! And now the whole place feels so cramped. Like a bunch of HDB blocks all lumped together.

It was only yesterday that I realised that every school building I've studied in is now either gone or changed beyond recognition. My secondary school is now my JC. My primatry school has been remodelled, but it's still at the same location. My secondary school now has a new campus. The only building that remains relatively unchanged is the old school building up on Woodsville, now called the Diocese Centre. Now that building brings back memories, although they lie so far back in time they've gotten rather vague and sepia-toned in my mind.

Then after finishing our grand tour of the school we left for lunch. Almost. Just as we passed through the MRT gates Vicks realised she hadn't brought along her EZLink card. So, Dai Wei and I waited. And waited. And waited. I never realised one could lose track of time within Potong Pasir station. But there you have it. We did. I'm sorry Vicks, but your escapades just make such good material for blogging.

My day ended with a Sec 4 class reunion. Jason came back to Singapore 5 minutes before Christmas, which incidentally also happens to be his birthday. But he's leaving again so soon: this Saturday. Well, it was good to see him anyway. He doesn't seem to have changed much apart from his hair. Maybe, if I have enough time and money, I'll go visit him at the end of next year.

Things are getting very disturbing in the Tan household. Yes, I found it more disturbing than amusing, I don't know why. It was nearly enough to give me goosebumps last night. America, ohh America, such beguiling charms you have... But you shall never invade Cuba!

A day of rest

Today was a lazy day. My family just whiled away the time relaxing after the hectic celebrations of Christmas. Thanks, Kelly, for the brownies. They were delicious as always.

At around 5 today we left the house to go out to Seletar reservoir for a walk in the park. It's been awhile since I have been able to just walk about in some park peacefully, without a care in the world, almost. In those few hours I just refused to let any worries cloud my mind.

Then we left the reservoir to make a drive towards Sembawang Park, next to the sea. Along the way we passed by great open spaces, all rarities in Singapore, that seemed so lush, green and empty. It was like we had passed out of Singapore to a greener and fresher country. Then all of a sudden we drove past this field that was dotted with brown skeletons of trees, all of them leafless. It struck me deeply because I was reminded of the German countryside in winter as one crosses the border into Switzerland. And in that moment I yearned to be abroad, back somewhere in Europe, preferably that German countryside. That field, and following that, all the surrounding landscape, seemed so foreign. For the rest of the journey I sat wondering at how suddenly Singapore didn't seem local anymore, and that even as I reached home, somehow the place didn't seem that familiar.

And I remembered that, of course, we are all wayfarers, passing through a land that is not home.

Born that man no more may die

Fear not: for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.
Luke 2:10-11

To everyone, have a Joyous Christmas.

Of uncles and burnt fingers

Yesterday, I burnt my fingers while trying to light Jeremy's birthday cake. I'm not going to say anything more about it. Happy Early Birthday Jeremy. Hope you enjoyed Kong. Great show.

Then afterwards I met Quek and KH and we practically whiled away the afternoon crapping nonsense and playing 15 minute intervals of STAR WARS: REPUBLIC COMMANDOS (cue Star Wars opening music), and QUAKE 4. I think the old urge to get games for Christmas resurfaced shortly within me.

Then KH was off. Hope you have fun on Monday! Did you know, that his class is actually coming to his house on Boxing Day for potluck? Even though "class" meaning around 12 people, I still find that a remarkable feat. I mean, getting 12 people in my class to sit at the same table in the canteen would be a good showing for us, haha. Anyway, don't get drunk on Monday, KH. We don't want too many people in your class to know about America! America! Am I not good enough for you, America?!

Then to round off my day was a most peculiar experience. To tell you the truth, yesterday was a really random day. I ended up in Toa Payoh Central with Quek, helping him shop for, among other things, a mini fan and sponges. He was buying stuff for some needy people gift list, and the items listed were hilarious in terms of having two 17 year old guys buy them. I have this lovely picture of Jeremy squatting in the Household section of Cold Storage squinting at washing detergents. Washing detergents. Then you have to wonder, do they want machine wash detergents or for hand wash?? We both never felt more inadequate and retarded before. I mean, yeah, we both look like uncles, but now we are uncles. You see, there's this complex in Toa Payoh Central that houses Courts on its first three floors and Cold Storage in the basement. It seemed to me to be like the ultimate shopping expeeience, and now, the both of us have experienced the complete family shopping experience. From Cold Storage to Courts.

At Courts we got this mini fan which was really cheap, like $20. I looked at it and went, "ok, we'll take this one." After saying that line I promptly turned away in disgust at actually having said that. I just ordered a mini fan! I'm an uncle! But later on I realised that the fan looked pretty impressive in its packaging cos it came in a large box. I was thinking how impressive that would be if I wrapped up the box nicely and gave it to people for Christmas gifts.

In any case, we rounded up the complete family shopping experience with coffee and tea at Yakun's.

Vicks was saying yesterday that i should compile a list of Moments of 2005. So here's a short list of them:

1) Vicks falling down the stairs, getting up, and falling down again.

2) Vicks tripping over something (not in school) and messaging me a detailed description of her experience. Here's the SMS in full: "Damn, I just tripped over a kerb, ran towards the ground and crashed onto the ground. Now I have a scraped side of knee, palm and a bit of bleeding elbow."

3) Jeremy saying in response to someone's laughter, "That's freakin' gay". (must be said with great passion and energy)

4)Mr Yoong to Lester, "HURRY UP!" (said with a force strong enough to wake Dai Wei and Jeremy up from their post-PE stupor)

5) Mr Yoong to Hanis, "Where is General Kassem from?" (said with a slow, ominous tone of voice tinged with rumblings of the wrath of God)

6) Mr Yoong about Lester, "He's halfway there." (this comment was not related to Moment 4)

7) Mrs Ram and her terrorist joke. To cripple Singapore one should bomb Shenton Way, not Changi Airport, although in my opinion bombing Changi would be enough to cripple our economy substantially.

8) Mr Smith about Vicki Yong, "She's a figment of my imagination."

9) Mr Smith's post Lit promos speech, "Just a reminder that 05A22 must see their CT in the Geography room, and all the Lit reps see me!" (half-sung, half-spoken)

10) Mrs Tan calling me, "Joe-wel..."

11) Samantha calling Jeremy, "Jerrmms...."

Those are all the Moments I can think of for now. If any of you can think of more feel free to contribute :)

Two Days to Christmas

Two days to Christmas and the skies are remarkably gloomy. It's been rainy and downcast these few days. In fact, walking along Orchard Road at night with the Christmas lights lit up and the rain drizzling down reminded me of Paris in winter. All that was needed was for the temperature to be lowered about 20 degrees or so.

I watched King Kong on Wednesday and Narnia yesterday. Two big budget films back to back. After so long, it's nice being able to walk out of the cinema feeling you've watched a good film. Kong is, without doubt, the biggest movie of the year, in all respects. Expansive, visually stunning, pulse-racingly exciting, it bears all the trademarks of Peter Jackson. Once more, the kiwi has done it again. In fact, I think Kong himself acts better than some of the actors. I actually heard someone crying rather loudly in the theatre as the ape fell off the building. That was a lovely scene. Intimate, tender, and epic at the same time.

Narnia, in comparison, wasn't that great. The film's pacing is rather irregular, and the intercutting of the scenes feels stilted and slightly jerky. Nevertheless it's a fairly good movie, with appropriately touching scenes. In my opinion the jerkiness of the story has more to do with how the book is structured than with the editing. Lewis wrote it in such away as to warrant Tolkien's comment that it was a "hodgepodge of images", and I agree with that judgement. It became more obvious to me after watching the movie. But Lewis' strength lay in the intimacy of his words and scenes. The flowing of one chapter to another was painted in flowing sweeps of language that managed to bind the story together as a closely-knitted whole. The movie, in trying to make a picture out of his words, suffers from the hodgepodge syndrome. Still, it makes for good family entertainment. I definitely recommend it for a viewing.

I've been feeling so sleepy... This is good weather for curling up in bed...


Vicks: Oh seriously, vicki, could you not tell the sarcasm of that statement? In any case, it really was a rather eye-catching outfit.

Benita: Yes, that sounds pathetic. And I feel used.... hahaha. Aiya, try to do up some of the econs yourself first lah. You're better at it than me anyway :)

Musa: Musa... sighhhh....

I can't believe I made it through those four days, but I did, so here I am, back home from camp. It was...a tremendous experience, tremendous not neccessarily meaning good, but nonetheless tremendous. I have been suffering from indigestion for the past two days, and indeed am still struggling with the urge to throw up my food right now. Camp food must not agree with my stomach. Or maybe it was because I got caught in a heavy downpour and subsequently endured a cold shower. In either case I threw up twice during the camp. Tremendous.

I'm physically and mentally exhausted. We did a High Elements rope course, meaning the kind of stuff you do at an Outward Bound course, walking on ropes suspended several metres in the air, that sort of thing. Those werent so bad, because they were actually fun to do. They just tire you out. The problem was the ground stations, because there was one game in which we had to stuff all our group members through a car tyre to get to the other side. Continuously carrying people in excess of 65 kg can strain the hand greatly. My left hand is still sore...

But the sessions were great. The guest speaker was seriously funny, and very random. I mean he was saying things like, just because you're born in an airport doesn't mean you're an aeroplane right? haha, but he made sense. In part it's probably because he's my kind of preacher, the thinking, more logical type. I guess some things did hit home.

Christmas is coming! In less than a week the youth congregation will be having its first service in SAV on 25 December! Which also means the year is ending and school is beginning. This could mean a period of despondency for many people in view of the pile of untouched homework, or it could mean hope. I'd choose hope. That is the message of Christmas after all.


Quek: hmm... crazed intoxication... are you referring to materialism? and what time are you talking about?

Musa: Nooo, I don't think I'm about to go camping again any time soon... And if you know me, you should know my idea of fun does not involve dirt and mud.

Vickland: Yup, but you know what, I agree with a few people who wrote into the ST about our service. The way to improve our service is for customers to reciprocate their thanks to those in the service line.

Mein Kampf

Whee, I've been going around shopping the past two days with my mom. I've got a new shirt, a new bag, a new pair of glasses, and a new pair of track pants. The pants are purely for functional uses. I've got a youth camp coming up in which I'll have to use them. I'd rather not have them, really...

And I've been eating. Yesterday we ate at the Island Cafe at CK Tangs. I tried their signature laksa with crayfish dish. It wasn't really fantastic. The service was worse. They were sufficiently congenial, but a tad too partial. Next to us was this table where two caucasians were eating with their Singaporean counterparts. Since they were so close to us I picked up some talk about the usual high business. Now, the irritating thing was that the waiters all seemed to pay an inordinate amount of attention to their table instead of the others. Every few minutes or so some one would rush over to clear the plates, offer more water, bring dishes. They ordered later, but they got their dishes first. Several times the waiter went over to refill their glasses, but as he left, with a jug of water still clearly full, he failed to notice our empty glasses. My mother had to actually call out to him to refill our cups. And when we were done, our table remained littered with the used serviettes while the other table was swiped clean of them, made pristine long before they left. We left our table in the same condition it was after we were done eating.

I simply don't understand the colonialist attitudes some of our service people still carry. Surely 40 years of continued growth and independence, not to mention a world war, would have smashed those inferiority complexes? But no, it would seem. But I'll give them the benfit of the doubt. Maybe they just happened to overlook us, which seems rather unlikely given that we were literally seated next to that table.

Anyway, that aside, I've been having a great time walking around these two days. I think I've done more walking than shopping. But it's needed exercise I guess, haha. I received this letter today saying I've gotten a good progress award in my studies and therefore am eligible for a cash voucher. Well, at least that makes up for the whole Edusave bursary scheme, which I receive now and then, but am never eligible for. More cash to help fill up my account! haha. Thanks be to God for seeing me through my studies this year.

I'll be away from tomorrow till Monday because of my youth camp. I'm not really looking forward to it. I've never really liked camps. They are so much of a hassle. Living away from the urban environment for a few days, indulging (or shall I say wallowing) in silly games that inevitably involve mud and dirt and water. I'd be fine really, if they just concentrated on the spiritual aspect of the camp and left the rest undone. But I suppose being away from your comfort zone and being pushed to do things you don't normally do kind of forces you to depend on God more. Maybe that's what I need, haha.


Musa: I've always liked the idea of being able to yak those kind of stiff on a train or bus, haha. The narcissistic side of me coming out.

Vicks: Well, in the context of the current festive season your outfit was very appropriate. As for the concert one, well, it might have required a few tweaks, but I shall abstain from the details.

Benita: Bye! Have fun on your trip. You, know, I think you were right that day. Naseem was indeed slightly jealous of you... hahahaha

Naseem: Happy? Happy?? yeah yeah.... And I wasn't bitching about you, I was jacking you. There's a difference. But see you around soon!

Quek: I never said I had fun spending. I said I liked shopping. hahaha...

Fill me up

Today we went out to treat Vicks. It's her birthday tomorrow, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKS! Nice outfit today! The best I've seen from you so far. Very memorable. Musa, you MUST send me the pics we took today. For everyone's information Vicks appeared today in a red and white top (red shirt, white long sleeves), wearing a Santa Hat. Dai Wei was the first one to spot her. We were looking around for her and then suddenly he saw her standing at with her back to the MRT signboard. So we hurried behind the board to hide, and then she turned this way, so we hurried to the other side, and then she turned back, so we hurried back. Then we crept up and surprised her. End of story.

Haha, but no, we had lunch later at swensen's. And we got her this book. Books as gifts. The darndest things in the world. I can't even believe I'm saying this! But I guess all gifts are darned things when you're looking for the right one.

And now, I'm feeling the sting of spending so much so recently. Musa found this wallet in the Wallet Shop that says on its front "Fill me up". I think its very appropriate for Musa. And I think for me too. I mean, I'm not really broke, but I don't like the sinking feeling of watching the money in my bank account go down. And it's going down quite fast. I like to imagine what I could do with big money. Invest in shares, place some in fixed deposit, buy property and rent it out, and then sit back and enjoy the dividends. Then I can really do what I once joked about: sitting in bus or MRT yakking away into my phone, "Ah yes, Sam, I want you to sell all 50 000 of my shares in so-and-so company. Buy up a 100 000 in this-and-that. Yes, sell. What? Their rates just went down? Hmm, okay nevermind, just sell the rest and we'll wait and see." or something along those lines. Such silly imaginings.

It's interesting to see how different a picture of yesterday Beni has painted. She says it's a heavenly experience, I say it was tortuous. And I thought you were the one who didn't want to walk around so much. But you did raise a good point about fiction. I think it's been too long since I've invested in a good fiction book. I've been reading a lot of CS Lewis and other non-fiction, think-deep, kind of books. Those are good, and Lewis is as usual fantastic. But there's always something special about delving into a good, captivating story that can transport me to another time or place. Like LOTR, or Artemis Fowl, or Narnia. I see a trend in the fiction books I like. I like mainly fantasy novels, like the ones above. But much of the fantasy genre is crap, so I read the classics. I also like Michael Crichton. Basically my books must have a certain amount of fantasy in them, not necessarily the magical kind. Sci-fi elements are perfectly acceptable too. But there must always be a balance. Plot is absolutely critical to the story. Too much of the other-worldly elements and you end up with garbage. When I do read general fiction the plots, although based on the real world, must be slightly removed from reality. For example the Life of Pi. Perhaps my genre could be described as the surreal.

And, beni, you don't CON me into ALMOST buying a book. If I do so, it's out of the exceeding benevolence of my heart, ha. And you probably will get another anyway... I don't like my presents to be un-liked.

The Art of Giving

My tagboard has become a discussion board for Vicks, Liz and Musa about the strengths and weaknesses of Abigail Sin and Clare Yeo. For starters I've never even heard of Clare Yeo. Ok, so sue me, I'm musically illiterate, or just out of touch with the local, and global, music scene. But I've never really given much thought to music in any case.

The Art of Giving is a skill, or virtue, that needs much refining within me. There are two kinds of giving, I believe. The first is the giving of one's time, skill, possessions. The intangibles, I would say. In this I lack discipline, or the genorisity, to give; whether it be to the needy or just someone who needs help.

The second kind of giving is the one that is troubling me now. It is the giving of material goods, or in other words, presents. I never knew that shopping for books, which has traditionally been a joyous practice for me, could become so tortuous. I have found the perfect person to give books to, for she seems to enjoy a great many kind of books. Perhaps her taste is as erratic as mine, but there remain severe differences. For example, chick lit. The problem arises when I attempt to shop in a genre that I usually avoid diligently. Then many things happen. What a silly convoluted path I've taken today. At least now I have a better understanding of the type of books you want. If it so happens to please me, and my wallet, I may just end up getting one of those from your wish list. Just don't borrow them from the library yet. :)

Shopping for gifts is a truly tiring and irritating experience. At this rate, I should just start doling out gift vouchers for everything under the sun. Saves me a whole lot of trouble.

I visited Naseem today at her workplace. She looked soo traditional and conservative. But the minute she opened her mouth, bam! impression's gone. She's still demanding her silly chocolate mud cake, among other things. Now the list has increased to Christmas gifts, which she's not getting because I'm trying to make my gift list as short as possible to avoid further hassle, and invitations to various outings, which she's also not going to get because of a simple reason: You're working, live with it. hahahah. She even insulted me by saying everyone visits her at work except the people she wants to see. Fine! But this was the best part. She thought chick lit was a short form for Chicken Little.

You know what, I kinda miss chocolate mud cake and Earl Grey tea *hint hint*.

Goodbye

Some events demand a blog post. Today, of all days, was such a day. Our last church service at Malan Road. The last time I will set foot inside that compound, the last time I will stroll through the plaza, sit in the caf (it was the last time I will see it so packed), stand in the hall, sing in the sanctuary. Everything that has a beginning, has an end. (Of all the movies to quote from...)

My brother was confirmed today in the school hall by the Bishop of Singapore. It was the last confirmation at Malan Road as well as the last service. Ironically, it was the first time I sat in the second level of the school hall.

Today it was brought home to me the significance of the site at Malan Road. My parents got married there, in the church sanctuary on the hill. While I was still in her womb my mother brought me there. I grew up there, played there, worshipped there, got baptised there, got confirmed there, and now, more recently, studied there. I have spent all 17 years of my life on the SAJC campus at Malan Road. The site has more meaning to me than just being an extension of my connection to the St. Andrew's family. I practically lived there.

And now, with a final wave, the last prayers have been said, the last hymns sung, the last photos taken. We bid farewell to Malan Road. The sanctuary has been deconsecrated, the altar stripped. I look forward to our move into SAV. The campus will no doubt be much flatter. The hill rises beyond the river now.

17 years... I can only look back and say, great is Thy faithfulness.



***

Liz: I hardly think MG girl necessarily equates good... But, of course, Abigail Sin is good.

Larissa: You would be gushing too if you'd seen him. And my male classmate was gushing about him too. We wanted to like abduct him and bring him home, haha.